Nothing says you've made it like dancing with muppets.

The big problem in waiting so long between posts, aside from the obvious fact that everyone forgets that you have a blog in the first place, is that by the time you're ready to post, you've got so much cool stuff to talk about that the task seems monumental, and you decide that it's too overwhelming, and you end up watching reruns of Mad About You on TV instead.

Not that that's a bad thing. Helen Hunt is hot, yo.

But, yes: I gots a lot o' cool stuff to jabber on about, but right now the Little Miss has managed to fit her entire fist in her mouth, and I gotta make sure she don't choke during her mom's allotted quota of three hours of sleep per night. So, until next time, here's Feist truly showing how awesome she is by rewriting one of her songs for Sesame Street:



Honestly - if you don't think this makes her cooler than your mom, I will punch you in the arm.

I believe this is your sandwich?

This is my most favourite thing on the internet right now. It's probably better than the new Batman movie, even though I hear that the new Batman movie is the best movie ever made and that watching Heath Ledger as the Joker will cure cancer. Still, I likes this:



Now I must sleep.

And now...

...the Ladyfriend and I discuss childcare.

No Sleep City.

So, I used to have this game that I'd play with my sisters, back when they were toddlers; it was called "Chris Sleeps", and basically it went like this: my sisters would wake me up and ask me to play a game with them, I'd tell them we were playing Hide & Seek, they'd go hide, and I'd go back to sleep.

You can't do that with a newborn. When you tell them to go hide, they just kinda lie there. Sometimes they drool, too, but they certainly don't go and hide behind the boxes in the crawlspace, letting you sleep for another hour or two.

Huh.

Stuff:

1. YES WE HAVE A NEW CAR! I AM A CAR-OWNER! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? It's a Volkswagon Golf and it's bright and shiny and it has enough room to smuggle a family of immigrants across the Texas/Mexico border and it'll make us soup when we're feeling yucky. Now we just have to work on me learning how to actually DRIVE the stupid thing...

2. ALSO I HAVE A PS3! I can see this SERIOUSLY hampering my efforts in learning how to drive, but it's okay, because a PS3 is like having a puppy only it doesn't shit on the floor.

3. Everyone must go see Hellboy 2, if only to watch Hellboy and Abe Sapien sing Barry Manilow. The rest of the movie is friggin' amazing, but that's really the best part.

4. Why is the new Beck CD really good? Well, obviously because it's Beck, for one, but also because it's produced by Danger Mouse, who by rights should be President Of The United States right now, seeing as he can seemingly do no wrong.

5. Sweaty man-love in front of hundreds of screaming wrestling fans? Pure awesome.

6. More science goodness.

7. I don't know how, but this is possibly the most addictive webgame I've come across - probably because it's got dinosaurs and DOOM!, but who am I to say?

8. A remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves? I'm strangely excited, but, again, y'know, it's probably the DOOOOM!!!!

9. Okay, okay, I'm excited, because Casino Royale was fingerlickin' good, but... Quantum Of Solace?

Really?

I mean, it's not as bad as, say, Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull Where The Nazis Are Now Russians & John Hurt Babbles Nonsense & Harrison Ford Is Looking Ollllld & CGI Prairie Dogs WTF???, but this is Bond we're talking about here. Thunderball. Octopussy. Dr. No. License To Kill.

You see where I'm going with this, right?

...and that's about it. See, I gots me GTA IV, and this Russian mob story ain't gonna play itself, so, um, bye.

Quickly: I am totally NOT a cannibal.

It's true: the man who once said that he'd prefer to taste human flesh one day before ever owning a car NOW OWNS A CAR.

(There is no way I can make that statement justifiable, so I'll just say it was a matter of priorities and leave it at that.)

Pictures soon; and possibly many explanations that will only make me sound like more of a creep.