This past week we've been suffering from arctic temperatures, despite that fact that it's April. Tomorrow's supposed to be the first warm day we've had in a long time, and I HAVE A COLD.

God damn. Everyone else in this city better just stay inside and NOT enjoy themselves, if they know what's good for them...

I'm just taking this moment to say to Chris and Marley: thank you for having me over to eat garlic and pretend to throw things at your television. I'm sorry I spent most of the time making fun of your kid's weight problem. I know it's not his fault that he's a tubby bitch.

Wait, no, what I meant was...aw, shit.