Mr. Brown: currently in South America, fighting off poisonous pygmies and scorpions with blowguns while the earth falls apart around him. Don't worry about him, though; he's a superhero.
Mormon & Jew: one is in Italy on a top-secret mission regarding better grooming tips (hint: clip your fingernails), while the other has been seduced - SEDUCED, I TELL YOU - by a lady of fine, upstanding quality here at home.
Me & The Crazy Lady: going to Wilco in a few minutes, where I shall proceed to punch the bass player for hitting on Mar in front of P.J. the last time they were in town; the Crazy Lady says I'm not allowed to do that, but I'm gonna. Favourite band or not, you don't dis the Peej that way.
At least, I think it was the bass player...maybe I'll fight the whole band at once. We'll see.
Fisticuffs to follow. Hopefully. Be good, or I'll swat you one.
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