Cover it with gas and set it on fire.

Apologies all around for that last post. I was a little tipsy. Rachel somehow convinced me to check out Brooker's show at Broken City, even though he was finished by the time we got there. S'cool, though, as we still got to hang out with him afterwards. And: apparently I'm a homophobe for telling some drunk asshole that his glasses weren't as pretty as he thought they were - oh, my mistake, some drunk gay asshole.

You go ahead and make any joke you want to, right there. I won't join in, but neither will I stop you.

What we've learned, though, is that sometimes it's a good thing to socialize with people whom you don't immediately hate, and sometimes it's a good thing to drink alcoholic beverages with them, and sometimes Broken City ain't a bad place to be, especially when Brooker magically produces pizza out of thin air. Brooker Buckingham = Rock God.

Rachel and Ian are pretty good shit, too.

Anyway: Buffalo's out, which means that a) I either shave the beard off completely, or else start to actually maintain it, and y'all know how bad I am at that shit, so expect Chris to be bald in the face again soon; and b) hockey's pretty much a non-issue now, just like basketball, as both playoff series promise to be as exciting as, say, masturbating for the sixth time in one day.

Which I've never done. Ever. I'm just guessing that it'd become, y'know, old hat after the fourth or fifth time...

Did I mention that Pelican have put their ENTIRE NEW ALBUM up on their website? Have I mentioned that you'd be a fool to not check it out? Also: you can order Pelican Underoos, because, as they put it, "Oh...This record has cock rock riffs, therefore we had to make the underwear." That's called class, yo.

Things:

1. Boingboing was allowed to name one of Virgin's new airplanes, and they went and called it Unicorn Chaser; and yet, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO OWN A GUN. I swear to god, I'm boycotting those emo fucks for, like, an hour...

2. OMG! I totally had no idea that it would cost money to text people on my phone instead of using it to, y'know, call them...

3. Apparently it's normal for our food supply to be tainted. Granted, this is from MSNBC, so the article itself might be a tad suspect, but still...

4. Holy crap. Holycrapholycrapholycrap. Twyla, you're right: the robots are coming to get us.

5. I believe in Harvey Dent.

6. I believe in Harvey Dent, too. Even if Big Clint hates Heath Ledger.

...and now I've become too nerdy even for me. This is me going to bed, because I'm old and must get my rest or else I'll be cranky and then customers will want to "have a chat with the managers of Beano about one of their little employees..." (yes, that's from an actual conversation I had tonight; I heart the service industry.)