I love the internet with all my heart. Where else can you watch videos of alien babies in dumpsters, cats getting drunk, or girls getting 'Britneyed' after they pass out?(Gee, I remember when all they'd do is film themselves having sex with her alcohol-addled frame...kids these days, I tell ya...). No wonder two-thirds of the continent refuses to believe in evolution.
Oh, and I know I'm usually late to the dance on these things due to my teetotalling nature, but did y'all hear about purple drink? It's not just a Dave Chappelle joke any more. I swear to christ, you people will do anything to get high. Remember those idiots that'd sit behind the 7-11, huffing gas until their noses rotted off? That's alla you in a year.
In two days I get to fly on a plane. I will NEVER get tired of that. I will, however, eventually tire of the people I usually have to share my flight with, as asshats constantly abound, existing only to annoy me with stories of a) where they're from and b) where they're going and c) why they're afraid of flying, when all I'm thinking about is that scene from Fight Club (you know which one I'm talking about...); but! We're currently directing positive energy towards the idea that Chris somehow wins that jackpot of the Airline Lottery: a flight all to myself.
Dude, I'm kidding. I know there's no such thing, unless you're the leader of the free world. Or God. Or Jenny. And I am none of those people. I think.
The new Palahniuk is out, and everyone hates it, but that's okay, because everyone seems to love The Surreal House of Bam's American Idol Swap, which means that Rant MUST be good.
I must go because I'm tired and my eyes are threatening to crawl out of my sockets and die in the corner if I do not go to bed now. They're serious, too; they have guns, and a list of demands, and sabres to rattle.
I want a sabre to rattle, goddammit...
Here are The Shins rescuing balloons, just because:
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2 comments:
Where are you flying to?
Even headphones didn't stop the old lady from talking my ear off on my last flight... I feel your pain... But on the bright side, I've had an entire isle to myself several times while flying! Stretching your legs across the other two seats is better than First Class, man!
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