I have a sammich.
It's 3:42 am, and I am a LITTLE tipsy, but it's okay because I have a sammich from that bakery down the street.
Damn, that bakery makes good sammiches.
It's all Rachels falt, because we had a shitty day at work (Gerald: Fuck you, you creepy old man. I hope you get hit by a truck full of cancer. I totally mean that, too.); when we were taking a whole hour to close (because for some reason people think it's a good idea to come in ten minutes before we close and, like, order ten drinks at a time, and then they wonder why we HATE THEM SO MUCH...) she just said, 'Beers?' and I couuld not resist! How could I? Technically, though, Strongbow is not a beer. It is a CIDER. There is a difference, damn you.
Things we have established:
1. There is not much difference between professional wrestling and porn. Honest to god: start watching one, and you'll be reminded of the other.
2. Our high school drama teacher could sometimes be a dick. Even though Rachel is, like, a decade younger than me. Dickishness pervades, I guess...
3. Hoochie-mamas catfighting while atop the shoulders of midgets is quite possibly THE BEST THING EVER. Actually, no, watching a full-grown Irishman dropkick a midget is THE BEST THING EVER. That other thing comes a close second, though.
4.Holy crap, this sammich is good.
5 . Church is bad.
...and then, while walking home, I realized that I'd purchased a sammich from the Rustic Sourdough Bakery BEFORE I even started work, and I never got a chance to eat it, because everyone thinks Caffe Beano is peachy-keen and The Best Place To Meet Your Webdate (ask FFWD), and so Rachel and I couldn't take breaks because the shop was full of whiny Mount Royal trophy wives and creepy semi-pedophilic old men and then I forgot about it until I dropped REachel off at home, and so I had to go in and get it because I just KNEW that if I left it there, Shauna would TOTALLY be all up in that shit, yo.
I'm kidding. Shauna wouldn't do something like that. Shauna's nothing but niceness squared. I was just really hungry, so I stopped at Beano a couple of minutes ago ( deftly avoiding the two drunk men asking me if I had any weed while they crashed on our benches) and rescued my sammich from the fridge, and now I'm not I'm not hungry any more, because I just finished it, and MAN ALIVE, was that ever good.
I'm gonna go shave my head now. This is what being a grown-up is all about. Sorry for all the shouting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
How do you feel about your job>
I love my job; it's just that with being a misanthrope, I tend to dislike most people anyway, so it stands to reason that I'm gonna wanna take the business end of a hammer to a lot of the people I have to serve.
Post a Comment