I have returned, having finally vanquished the demonic spider monkeys that'd taken root in my lungs; all that remains is cleaning up the vile monkey jizz that keeps seeping from my mucuous membrane.
Okay, that was a bit much...
Spent the last couple of days feeling as though I was NOT in the loop with anything or anyone around me. Not fun, not good for my head. Add a cold that, despite the efforts of modern medicine, shamanic chants and a big stick, simply WILL NOT GO AWAY, and the fact that I've become a Failure As A Human Being again, and, well, whatever. Welcome to the awesome suck that is my life.
Oh, boo-hoo. At least I'm better-than-average at Scrabble, and right now I gots me Neo-Citran (apple-cinnamon? No friggin' way!). Tomorrow it's Paying Bills, Rescuing My Bike From The Crazy Lady's Basement & Giving It New Feet, and Looking For A New Place To Put All My Stuff & Sometimes Sleep. Also: Learning To Live Without Capitalizing Everything. That'll be a tough one, I know. But, yes, it's time to stop the foolishness and actually quit this hovel, and while I've been romancing the idea of finding an actual house to move into, I'm gonna have to suck it up and admit that I cannot afford such a thing as of yet. So: this is me apartment hunting for reals.
Should I feel concerned that my co-workers seem to be getting younger and younger? Will Beano soon be staffed by pre-schoolers? Will I then become the creepy janitor that everyone thought was harmless but secretly kept old sweaty gym-strip in his footlocker that everyone supposedly had 'lost' in the change rooms? Hm.
New CDs I Got Cuz I Am Nice:
1. It's good to see that David Yow is actually doing something again, music-wise; Jesus Lizard wasn't just some band you walk away from, although this new outfit of his, QUI, has all the earmarks of a forgettable one-shot: vague, nigh-indecipherable name, song lyrics consisting of two sentences repeated ad nauseum, etc. Still, it's Yow, who routinely presented his scrote to the world on a nightly basis, and doing it here in town while forcing my good friend Gobbler to fellate him through his jeans, so any chance to hear him rant over discordant guitars and drums is a good thing, yes? (Hint: you're supposed to agree with me here.)
2. Okay, so despite having the gheyest album title I've heard in a long time (I mean, really, "Autumn Of The Seraphs"? Jeez, you guys might as well be AFI...), Pinback sounds revitalized and catchy as hell, especially after Rob Crow scared us all into thinking the band was done by putting out solo and side projects like a monkey throwing feces (Goblin Cock: hell, yes; The Ladies: please god make the hurting stop...). Boris: this sounds like the band I'd always expected you to form.
3. High On Fire, Death Is This Communion: THANK YOU RELAPSE RECORDS FOR THIS NEW ALBUM. High On Fire is what Motorhead would sound like if they stopped playing the same chords over and over again.
4. Kanye West, Graduation: really? Huh. No, I don't think so. Maybe Kanye should've taken another year off with this one; anyone who disagrees with me should listen to the putridity that is "Drunk & Hot Girls", which proves that not everything Mos Def touches turns to gold.
5. I'm very sorry but I still haven't really listened to the new Go! Team yet, despite it being full of mega-amazing goodness and superheroes on crack.
Stuff I Read All By Myself:
1. Not too sure about Rant yet. It was interesting, to be sure, and nice to see Palahniuk doing something a little different, but I'm just not getting the whole "time travel turns us into god but only if you have sex with your mom" sorta thing. Gimme a bit, I'll get back to you.
2. Currently attempting to get through Noir by K.W. Jeter. It's got that cool cyberpunk-cum-pulp detective thing going for it, but Jeter obviously masturbates over copyright law texts while dreaming of royalty cheques with cleavage, as the topic pops up repeatedly throughout the book and really overshadows every other cool thing he comes up with (the hero's eyes are augmented so that he views everything as though he were in a thirties detective film! HOW COOL IS THAT??!! If you guessed, "...so cool that it's TOTALLY AWESOME!", then you are correct...); still, I'm at about page 350, so I'm thinking I should push on and hope it gets better.
3. Remember me talking about "The Men Who Stare At Goats" a while back? The book about guys in the military who think they're Jedis and that they can walk through walls if they wish real real hard? The NON-FICTION book? Yeah, I kinda forgot about it, and now I'm thinking that if a book comes along and slaps me in the head and says "HEY I WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU!", then maybe I should actually read it. So, um, there.
Other Stuff That Causes My Brain To Feel Good:
1. Wonderful wonderful Playstation Ads. (Even that famous "White Power" one.)
2. Apocalyptic Wasteland Done In Lego.
3. Why I'll check out Team Fortress 2 even though I hate first-person-shooter games.
My Neo-Citran is done, which means that I must sleep or die (it says so on the ingredients. It's true. It's Science!). So, um, bye.
Okay, that was a bit much...
Spent the last couple of days feeling as though I was NOT in the loop with anything or anyone around me. Not fun, not good for my head. Add a cold that, despite the efforts of modern medicine, shamanic chants and a big stick, simply WILL NOT GO AWAY, and the fact that I've become a Failure As A Human Being again, and, well, whatever. Welcome to the awesome suck that is my life.
Oh, boo-hoo. At least I'm better-than-average at Scrabble, and right now I gots me Neo-Citran (apple-cinnamon? No friggin' way!). Tomorrow it's Paying Bills, Rescuing My Bike From The Crazy Lady's Basement & Giving It New Feet, and Looking For A New Place To Put All My Stuff & Sometimes Sleep. Also: Learning To Live Without Capitalizing Everything. That'll be a tough one, I know. But, yes, it's time to stop the foolishness and actually quit this hovel, and while I've been romancing the idea of finding an actual house to move into, I'm gonna have to suck it up and admit that I cannot afford such a thing as of yet. So: this is me apartment hunting for reals.
Should I feel concerned that my co-workers seem to be getting younger and younger? Will Beano soon be staffed by pre-schoolers? Will I then become the creepy janitor that everyone thought was harmless but secretly kept old sweaty gym-strip in his footlocker that everyone supposedly had 'lost' in the change rooms? Hm.
New CDs I Got Cuz I Am Nice:
1. It's good to see that David Yow is actually doing something again, music-wise; Jesus Lizard wasn't just some band you walk away from, although this new outfit of his, QUI, has all the earmarks of a forgettable one-shot: vague, nigh-indecipherable name, song lyrics consisting of two sentences repeated ad nauseum, etc. Still, it's Yow, who routinely presented his scrote to the world on a nightly basis, and doing it here in town while forcing my good friend Gobbler to fellate him through his jeans, so any chance to hear him rant over discordant guitars and drums is a good thing, yes? (Hint: you're supposed to agree with me here.)
2. Okay, so despite having the gheyest album title I've heard in a long time (I mean, really, "Autumn Of The Seraphs"? Jeez, you guys might as well be AFI...), Pinback sounds revitalized and catchy as hell, especially after Rob Crow scared us all into thinking the band was done by putting out solo and side projects like a monkey throwing feces (Goblin Cock: hell, yes; The Ladies: please god make the hurting stop...). Boris: this sounds like the band I'd always expected you to form.
3. High On Fire, Death Is This Communion: THANK YOU RELAPSE RECORDS FOR THIS NEW ALBUM. High On Fire is what Motorhead would sound like if they stopped playing the same chords over and over again.
4. Kanye West, Graduation: really? Huh. No, I don't think so. Maybe Kanye should've taken another year off with this one; anyone who disagrees with me should listen to the putridity that is "Drunk & Hot Girls", which proves that not everything Mos Def touches turns to gold.5. I'm very sorry but I still haven't really listened to the new Go! Team yet, despite it being full of mega-amazing goodness and superheroes on crack.
Stuff I Read All By Myself:
1. Not too sure about Rant yet. It was interesting, to be sure, and nice to see Palahniuk doing something a little different, but I'm just not getting the whole "time travel turns us into god but only if you have sex with your mom" sorta thing. Gimme a bit, I'll get back to you.
2. Currently attempting to get through Noir by K.W. Jeter. It's got that cool cyberpunk-cum-pulp detective thing going for it, but Jeter obviously masturbates over copyright law texts while dreaming of royalty cheques with cleavage, as the topic pops up repeatedly throughout the book and really overshadows every other cool thing he comes up with (the hero's eyes are augmented so that he views everything as though he were in a thirties detective film! HOW COOL IS THAT??!! If you guessed, "...so cool that it's TOTALLY AWESOME!", then you are correct...); still, I'm at about page 350, so I'm thinking I should push on and hope it gets better.
3. Remember me talking about "The Men Who Stare At Goats" a while back? The book about guys in the military who think they're Jedis and that they can walk through walls if they wish real real hard? The NON-FICTION book? Yeah, I kinda forgot about it, and now I'm thinking that if a book comes along and slaps me in the head and says "HEY I WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU!", then maybe I should actually read it. So, um, there.Other Stuff That Causes My Brain To Feel Good:
1. Wonderful wonderful Playstation Ads. (Even that famous "White Power" one.)
2. Apocalyptic Wasteland Done In Lego.
3. Why I'll check out Team Fortress 2 even though I hate first-person-shooter games.
My Neo-Citran is done, which means that I must sleep or die (it says so on the ingredients. It's true. It's Science!). So, um, bye.
3 comments:
Well Pinback must be the best band ever. I shall examine thoroughly, like my testicles.
That is very close to being the truth except for the fact that they are not the best band ever they are only slightly less best than the best band ever or something as such along those lines. They are very good. Goblin Cock, however, is something we ALL must pay tribute to...
Why are you examining your testicles?
Cancer, gnats..... dwarves....
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