When you gaze into Bratz, they also gaze into you.

So, because of the sub-arctic temperature currently sodomizing Calgary, someone thought it'd be a good idea to light the hair salon across the street from Beano on fire, which meant that for about half an hour, we were invaded by live-action versions of Bratz.

I must admit: when they're at the counter ordering their non-fat lactose-free goop, I sometimes have to keep myself from reaching over and poking their faces, just to see whether or not they're made out of plastic.

Luckily, it turned out that it was only their garbage bin in the alley that was on fire, so they were soon able to return to their hyperbaric chambers before their otherworldy skin-sacs burst and showered us with a poisonous rainbow of candy-coloured nail-polish and lip-gloss distilled from the crushed hopes and dreams of every little girl whose daddy wouldn't buy them a pony or call them 'Princess'.

Yes, I am an asshole.

Stuff:

1. On the Scientology front: apparently I am out of touch, as a group known as Anonymous has DECLARED WAR on the (alleged) Church of Scientology. Despite the casiotone inflection of the narrators, (or maybe because of it), these videos are creepy as fuck.

2. McDonald's has no idea what "I'd Hit It" means. Or else they want us to do really bad things to their cheeseburgers.

That's about it for now; anyone who likes good music should pick up Useless Trinkets, the new compilation by The Eels (or if you'd prefer, simply 'Eels'...). It features a cover of Prince's "I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man", as well as close to 50 other tunes to teach you how to be happy about depression. Also: the movie Sunshine, about people flying to the sun to try and blow it up so that it doesn't die? Fan-friggin'-tastic. Just try not to watch it with someone who constantly berates the qualifications of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS IN FICTIONAL SITUATIONS, i.e., "...see, none of these people would ever make it onto a spaceship, because none of them would get past the Psyche Tests..."; See, this is why people beat up pregnant ladies.

Oh, I am SO going to hell for that one...

Also also: Shauna, your mix-CD is ready. Now get off my back.