1. The delivery room at the Foothills Hospital is on the fifth floor. 2. I am allowed to cut the umbilical cord if I want.
3. Contractions feel like holding onto an ice cube for about thirty seconds, but if you breathe properly it ain't so bad.
4. The acronym that helps you diagnose whether or not your pregger is going into labour is TACO (time, amount, colour, odour). Try not to giggle when your instructor uses it.
5. The vagina looks nothing like a stovepipe, but you can fit a baby through either one.
Other terms to remember:
1. "Giant ball of snot."
2. "Pinkish strings."
3. "Muconium."
4. "Stovepipe." (I couldn't get over this one.)
Also, apparently it's important to bring snacks.
The ladyfriend gets bonus points, though, for pointing at everyone in the room and stating, "Guess what? None of these people know how to use a condom!"
That is all. I will go shoot bunnies now.
3 comments:
I was asked if I wanted to cut the chord for Bradena dn I said no because.... well... it was fucking gross....
Dude, so far EVERYTHING about childbirth is gross...
Aww c'mon.. I WHISPERED the condom comment to you.
And it's TRUE. Jeez.
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