I am THIS many years old.

Here's a good way to start the day: DON'T have a dream where your girlfriend is lying in bed in her underwear with a guitar player named Mott Lee while you're driving around St. Louis with a street map from 1978 and an empty baby carseat and a dying cel phone, and while she's telling you about Mott's new band and how great it is and how they're gonna be the biggest band in the world, you're trying to get a word in about how you're lost and that there's a very good chance that you might've left the baby at the grocery store. That just don't feel good.

But anyway: yes I am old today. Let's stop talking about numbers and start talking about how my girlfriend is pretty much the best thing in the universe, NOT because she got me the Twin Peaks Box Set and a housecoat and underwear and even made me a scarf with her own hands, but because she listens to me (even when I'm not paying attention to what I'm saying), which is why she got me the Dvd and housecoat, etc - and that's as mushy as I'm gonna get, so, um, there.

Seriously: who names their kid Mott?
Stuff:

1. While this is somewhat horrifying, there's a small part of me that thinks that this show is less about making people choose between money and dignity, and more about forcing people to realize that sometimes the money isn't worth it..

...nah, I take that back; it's ALL horrific.

2. Acoustic Invisibility Cloak. Let me repeat that: Acoustic. Invisibility. Cloak.

3. Area 51 has a new name. Which is really dumb.

4. Apparently Bigfoot lives on Mars now.

That is all, as now I must go and serve ridiculous coffee beverages to people who have more money than sense and really only deserve to drink my spittle out of a used toilet bowl. It'll be fun.

(Lemme just say that if this man and his girlfriend invite you over for dinner, you should do so, as a great time will be had by all, and your belly will be full of good stuff.)