Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now, despite a relapse in flu-like symptoms a couple days back and last night's bout of, shall we say, projectile excrescence. I'm still crossing my fingers, though, and making the evil eye at anyone who crosses my path with a black cat and/or a Chick Tract.
Anyway; Things I Learned At Prenatal Class Part 5 (Because We Were Sick For Part 4 & I Lost The Notes From Part 3):
1. Breastfeeding is Good.
2. 'Foomping' is an actual technical term which refers to how a newborn will attach its head to the mother's breast. That's right: 'Foomping'.
3. Milk comes from breasts.
4. Sometime it's okay to carry the baby like a football, but you won't gain any yardage, so it's best to just go for a safety (...and I'm pretty sure nobody got that joke...).
5. Breastfeeding will solve all the problems in the universe.
6. You should put cabbage leaves in your bra, and then take them out when they've wilted. No, really, apparently it feels good or something, which is why I've got a head of lettuce stuffed down my shirt as we speak.
7. It's okay to tease the baby with a nipple when teaching it how it breastfeed, as long as you don't use foul language.
The other things we learned: The Ladyfriend and I are gonna be okay. See, we stayed late after class to catch up on what we missed the previous week (due to insane viral infestations), and our instructor had nothing but praise for our apparent confidence and attitude towards childbirth (in summation: "Oh. My. God. Okay, breathe. We're okay. I think." Seriously, that's all that goes through my head when I think about this stuff...); it was nice to hear, if a little shocking, as the two of us feel anything but confident.
So, um, yeah. We're gonna have a kid. In about a month or two.
Oh christ.
Changing the subject: Chris has new music!
That's all, except to say that someone reminded me about how Nick Cave was in The Assassination Of Jesse James... as a troubadour of sorts, and all I have to say that the only good thing about his appearance was that Casey Affleck threatened to shoot him.
2 comments:
Relax dude, you're gonna be fine and a good dad.
Also, a new Breeders album this month... Am I wrong to be excited?
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