'Statue Of Liberty' play.

OHMIGOD WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO DEFEAT THIS VILE SICKNESS IN MY HEAD???

Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now, despite a relapse in flu-like symptoms a couple days back and last night's bout of, shall we say, projectile excrescence. I'm still crossing my fingers, though, and making the evil eye at anyone who crosses my path with a black cat and/or a Chick Tract.

Anyway; Things I Learned At Prenatal Class Part 5 (Because We Were Sick For Part 4 & I Lost The Notes From Part 3):

1. Breastfeeding is Good.

2. 'Foomping' is an actual technical term which refers to how a newborn will attach its head to the mother's breast. That's right: 'Foomping'.

3. Milk comes from breasts.

4. Sometime it's okay to carry the baby like a football, but you won't gain any yardage, so it's best to just go for a safety (...and I'm pretty sure nobody got that joke...).

5. Breastfeeding will solve all the problems in the universe.

6. You should put cabbage leaves in your bra, and then take them out when they've wilted. No, really, apparently it feels good or something, which is why I've got a head of lettuce stuffed down my shirt as we speak.

7. It's okay to tease the baby with a nipple when teaching it how it breastfeed, as long as you don't use foul language.

The other things we learned: The Ladyfriend and I are gonna be okay. See, we stayed late after class to catch up on what we missed the previous week (due to insane viral infestations), and our instructor had nothing but praise for our apparent confidence and attitude towards childbirth (in summation: "Oh. My. God. Okay, breathe. We're okay. I think." Seriously, that's all that goes through my head when I think about this stuff...); it was nice to hear, if a little shocking, as the two of us feel anything but confident.

So, um, yeah. We're gonna have a kid. In about a month or two.

Oh christ.

Changing the subject: Chris has new music!

1. I don't know why I like MGMT as much as I do; they're pretentious as fuck (in that 'let's dress up like Perry Farrell circa Porno For Pyros and glue twigs to our heads'), and the singer's got a voice that makes me wanna punch old people in the neck, but I can't help it. It's weird in the way that The Polyphonic Spree is weird, but only if Tim DeLaughter started taking heroin instead of LSD. I have a feeling that I'll hate this in three months, but for now, it's good.

2. Rocket From The Crypt just put out a recording of their final concert, suitably entitled R.I.P., and it's both sad and AWESOME, and if you don't like RFTC then you don't like life.

3. I really like the new Erykah Badu, but I'm white, so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to like it.

4. So, Mark Lanegan and Greg Dulli have been threatening to release their Gutter Twins project for quite some time now, and here it is, and guess what? It sounds like Mark Lanegan and Greg Dulli playing music together! Go figure! I mean, it's enjoyable, because they're both extremely talented (you don't release an album the quality of Afghan Whig's Gentleman without having some chops, y'know?) but...well, that's where I'm gonna leave it, because I'm quite certain that the two of them would have no problem stomping me to the curb, were they so inclined. Lanegan sounds like he's survived on nothing but cigarettes and whiskey for the last twenty years, and Dulli's just a mean bastard all around, y'know?

That's all, except to say that someone reminded me about how Nick Cave was in The Assassination Of Jesse James... as a troubadour of sorts, and all I have to say that the only good thing about his appearance was that Casey Affleck threatened to shoot him.