Why I Work Where I Work Despite My Overwhelming Hatred For Customer Service.

This is kinda like one of those 'Overheard In New York' things, only it was overheard at Beano, and by overheard I mean it was said to me directly after two different customers inquired as to the sexual preference of one of our newest employees:

See, sometimes you just gotta share that shit with the world.

Also: I can no longer tell if I am going too far:

People were mostly confused by these ones, but every now and then someone would do a double-take, their features contorting in sheer horror of what they thought we were doing to the beans when no one was looking.

Honestly: it's just a joke. Really. I mean, I'm a Dad now. I'm not allowed to lie anymore, unless it's to children under five years of age.