Gordie don' shiv.

A phrase I never thought I'd utter: "God help me, I think I'm going to punch a retard."

It was that kind of day; to say nothing of the chickenhead who pointedly asked Andy, "...what type of bear is this exactly?", while fingering a two-dollar coin he'd just pulled from his pocket and deposited onto our counter as though it were some magical talisman that could banish leprosy and tax collectors; or the woman who grabbed on of our pens from beside the till and informed Bruce that she was keeping it, "...just because I like the way it looks...", to which Bruce replied "...um...okay?"; or the fact that Bruce and I made fun of a man who wouldn't climb two stairs in order to reach the cream and sugar for his coffee, only to find out that he was actually somewhat wheelchair-bound, and had exerted a tremendous amount of effort and will just to come through our front door of his own volition (we kinda felt bad about that one...); and let's not speak about the two young ladies who squatted to urinate in direct view of me and Bruce while we were in the midst of a conversation concerning David Lynch.

Yeah: that kind of day. The kind of day where Gordie scams a free coffee by using a bank card that doesn't have any account set up for it, and, well, being Gordie, he doesn't seem to understand that he has no way of paying for his fifth cup of dark roast, and so, not wanting an episode of 'Gordie Pulls A Rain-Man And Bloodies His Forehead On My Counter-Top', it seemed easier to just give it to him for free.

Maybe I should explain: Gordie ain't bright. Who the hell gave him a bank card in the first place, anyway?

Maybe this is all just because I only had about three hours of sleep last night. I dunno; I do know that Bruce is good shit (he fed me Guinness while his cat tried to ineffectually to sever my Achilles tendon), and also so are Meg (who puts the Meg in Megatunes HAHAHAHAHAHAokay that was dumb...) and Sara (sorry I have no joke for your name but you know you're cool right? Right? Good.), and that despite the absence of the Crazy Lady (who just up and disappeared, in her usual contrary way, what the hell, lady?), it's time for bed.

(Oh, and Atreyu cover Faith No More's "Epic" on their new CD, which is a crime, as Atreyu suck, and any further negative description would only garner them more attention than they deserve. Stop listening to them. Stop it. Right now. Thankyew.)

Goodnight. Keep it down, or I'll introduce you to Gordie. He knows...