Some things before I haul myself into the shower and not stink.

1. I kid you not: this is the first thing I saw today. I never thought I'd read the phrase 'reincarnation management'.

2. Yeah, like none of you saw something like this happening eventually.

Now I have to go put on a smile and refrain from saying to people, "So, when you ask me for an extra-hot half-caff 3% latte with ginger and two ice cubes and a splash of sugar-free vanilla syrup, you're really asking me to punch you in the side of the neck until you stop breathing, right?"

Bah.