Hey, Kat Von D was in town and I don't care.
Not that I have anything against the Los Anglican tattoo starlet in particular, but really, how soon before the lot of you forget about her as quickly as you did those pink Von Dutch trucker caps? Or Jesse James' West Coast Chopper hoodies? Tattoo groupies are worse than hair-metal betties - and if you've ever had Vince Neil in your mouth, you deserve to be kept in a secure location on display for those of us who wish to observe what an evolutionary throwback looks like. In the future, we'll have secluded sanctuaries for the likes of you, simply to keep you from contaminating our gene pool...
Anyway: stuff.
1. Music: everyone should pick up the new Aesop Rock, None Shall Pass. Holy fuckwads, batman. Aesop's got the lyrical imagery of a schizophrenic Tom Waits by-way-of Compton paired with a vocal delivery that'll knock you out like a slab of beef to the side of the head. Blockhead does most of the production on this one, which explains why his own solo release was somewhat lacklustre, as the beats on this are inspired and funky as hell.
Also: Madlib has a new Beat Konducta comp out, Vol 3-4:India; while it's not wowing me the way Shades Of Blue did back in 2003, it's a great soundscape marriage of Bollywood samples and lazy hip-hop beats. How's this for strange, though? Madlib's cousin/nephew/protege, Oh No, just released his own collection of indian-flavoured hip-hop (Dr. No's Oxperient), and holy-christ-on-a-crutch, it actually tops his mentor's release. Either way, these two are far more deserving of your money than Akon's latest date-rape apology or whatever the hell it was that came in my ears at the gas station this morning...
I missed out on the QOTSA show last week due to work scheduling, but then I'm sure none of you saw it either, as the last time they came through town, everyone complained about the fact that they got up on stage and played their songs really really well as opposed to fellating your indie-cool sensibilities; I'm also sure it was a good show, but I haven't spoken to any of my real friends in, like, a week.
And when I say 'real' friends, you just know I'm talking about all you guys, right? Right? Right.
Meg: I haven't listened to the new Caribou yet. I'm sorry. I will. It's just, when a man of my age has the opportunity to engage in, y'know, sex, he's gotta take it, y'know?
2. Books: Pahlaniuk's Rant is pretty good, so far; told as a series of interviews with friends and family of Patient Zero in regards to some mysterious future epidemic, it's equal parts black humour and pseudo-mystical Iron John reject-all-you-know self-help that tends to permeates everything Chuck's ever written.
That's not to say that I disapprove. Sure, it's got some silliness that doesn't gel with the majority of the story (the Road Warrior-esque Party Crashers bug me to no end...), but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.
Also rereading PKD's Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sleep aka Blade Runner, because PKD don't shiv; y'know his android's still wandering around the Australian outback somewhere, right? I'm still wrapping my head around that one...
3. Comics - went comic shoppin' today; dropped a bunch a money on funnybooks that would've probably been better spent on food or bills, but what the hell - I gots priorities, yo.
Ex Machina Vol 4: March To War - Brian K. Vaughn's story of a superhero who gives up the tights and runs for office gets bloodier and more convoluted, and I can't get enough, especially now that they've introduced an actual nemesis; I'm liking this a lot better than his other Vertigo series, Y The Last Man, which seems to be a lot more bark than bite.
Hellboy: Strange Places - NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY!
That is all you need to know.
The Exterminators - okay, Bryn, you were right: this is effin' good. A story where the chemicals we use to get rid of the bugs only makes them stronger and more voracious in appetite? Hell, yeah. Plus, the last page is a priceless monster-movie sequel segue. Colour me impressed.
Also picked up Brian Woods' DMZ and the new BPRD collection, but I'm putting them off as they're both very wordy and I still have to go shave my head and wash my unnerwear.
Other stuff: an interview with a living goddess, witchcraft makes you money, and how to impress ladies on a pub crawl.
An update on local adventures: Mr. Brown is no longer raping the earth in Peru, as he came down with a case of acute renal failure (dude, wtf? You are not allowed to die in a foreign country! They will eat your bones and laugh at your ghost! It's true!); he's cool now, but jesus fuck, my friend...
...also: calamity on the Mormon & Jew front, as one returned home from Italy only to get dumped, while the other had his ladyfriend leave for god knows how long to be among sheep and Maori warriors, both of whom are creatures who headbutt each other for fun. Still, we are feeding them alcohol and rubbing their tummies, so all will be well, kinda.
The Crazy Lady is still crazy, but she's also really pretty, so I'm not worried; she also lost a wife ('bye, Megan! Have fun in Frenchland! If it's possible!) but gained another Grumpy Old Man to help turn her living space into a maze of books and empty bottles, and it's not even me this time! Bryn is what's known as 'good shit', although he shall taste bitter defeat when I destroy him at Scrabble.
This is me going to play with scissors.
Not that I have anything against the Los Anglican tattoo starlet in particular, but really, how soon before the lot of you forget about her as quickly as you did those pink Von Dutch trucker caps? Or Jesse James' West Coast Chopper hoodies? Tattoo groupies are worse than hair-metal betties - and if you've ever had Vince Neil in your mouth, you deserve to be kept in a secure location on display for those of us who wish to observe what an evolutionary throwback looks like. In the future, we'll have secluded sanctuaries for the likes of you, simply to keep you from contaminating our gene pool...
Anyway: stuff.
1. Music: everyone should pick up the new Aesop Rock, None Shall Pass. Holy fuckwads, batman. Aesop's got the lyrical imagery of a schizophrenic Tom Waits by-way-of Compton paired with a vocal delivery that'll knock you out like a slab of beef to the side of the head. Blockhead does most of the production on this one, which explains why his own solo release was somewhat lacklustre, as the beats on this are inspired and funky as hell.
Also: Madlib has a new Beat Konducta comp out, Vol 3-4:India; while it's not wowing me the way Shades Of Blue did back in 2003, it's a great soundscape marriage of Bollywood samples and lazy hip-hop beats. How's this for strange, though? Madlib's cousin/nephew/protege, Oh No, just released his own collection of indian-flavoured hip-hop (Dr. No's Oxperient), and holy-christ-on-a-crutch, it actually tops his mentor's release. Either way, these two are far more deserving of your money than Akon's latest date-rape apology or whatever the hell it was that came in my ears at the gas station this morning...I missed out on the QOTSA show last week due to work scheduling, but then I'm sure none of you saw it either, as the last time they came through town, everyone complained about the fact that they got up on stage and played their songs really really well as opposed to fellating your indie-cool sensibilities; I'm also sure it was a good show, but I haven't spoken to any of my real friends in, like, a week.
And when I say 'real' friends, you just know I'm talking about all you guys, right? Right? Right.
Meg: I haven't listened to the new Caribou yet. I'm sorry. I will. It's just, when a man of my age has the opportunity to engage in, y'know, sex, he's gotta take it, y'know?
2. Books: Pahlaniuk's Rant is pretty good, so far; told as a series of interviews with friends and family of Patient Zero in regards to some mysterious future epidemic, it's equal parts black humour and pseudo-mystical Iron John reject-all-you-know self-help that tends to permeates everything Chuck's ever written.That's not to say that I disapprove. Sure, it's got some silliness that doesn't gel with the majority of the story (the Road Warrior-esque Party Crashers bug me to no end...), but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.
Also rereading PKD's Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sleep aka Blade Runner, because PKD don't shiv; y'know his android's still wandering around the Australian outback somewhere, right? I'm still wrapping my head around that one...
3. Comics - went comic shoppin' today; dropped a bunch a money on funnybooks that would've probably been better spent on food or bills, but what the hell - I gots priorities, yo.
Ex Machina Vol 4: March To War - Brian K. Vaughn's story of a superhero who gives up the tights and runs for office gets bloodier and more convoluted, and I can't get enough, especially now that they've introduced an actual nemesis; I'm liking this a lot better than his other Vertigo series, Y The Last Man, which seems to be a lot more bark than bite.
Hellboy: Strange Places - NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY! NEW HELLBOY!That is all you need to know.
The Exterminators - okay, Bryn, you were right: this is effin' good. A story where the chemicals we use to get rid of the bugs only makes them stronger and more voracious in appetite? Hell, yeah. Plus, the last page is a priceless monster-movie sequel segue. Colour me impressed.
Also picked up Brian Woods' DMZ and the new BPRD collection, but I'm putting them off as they're both very wordy and I still have to go shave my head and wash my unnerwear.
Other stuff: an interview with a living goddess, witchcraft makes you money, and how to impress ladies on a pub crawl.
An update on local adventures: Mr. Brown is no longer raping the earth in Peru, as he came down with a case of acute renal failure (dude, wtf? You are not allowed to die in a foreign country! They will eat your bones and laugh at your ghost! It's true!); he's cool now, but jesus fuck, my friend...
...also: calamity on the Mormon & Jew front, as one returned home from Italy only to get dumped, while the other had his ladyfriend leave for god knows how long to be among sheep and Maori warriors, both of whom are creatures who headbutt each other for fun. Still, we are feeding them alcohol and rubbing their tummies, so all will be well, kinda.
The Crazy Lady is still crazy, but she's also really pretty, so I'm not worried; she also lost a wife ('bye, Megan! Have fun in Frenchland! If it's possible!) but gained another Grumpy Old Man to help turn her living space into a maze of books and empty bottles, and it's not even me this time! Bryn is what's known as 'good shit', although he shall taste bitter defeat when I destroy him at Scrabble.
This is me going to play with scissors.
3 comments:
Your blog was sent from a place where only goodness and purity exist.
That is because I am your LORD and GOD and you must bring me Virgins and Cheeseburgers. It is Written, so shall it must BE.
I finally leave you alone for a night and you don't even update your blog?
Disappointed. That's all I'm sayin'.
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