This Is Where Chris Feels Kinda Bad For Making Fun Of People, But Then Remembers Why He's Doing It, So He Doesn't Feel So Bad After All.

Okay, I wasn't gonna post this, as I'd already linked to a ridiculous Christian website a few days ago (here, if you missed it and you want to know why God hates you for being a one-armed drummer...), and as much as I think that it's a little foolish to make yourself and everyone else suffer in this life because God's gonna give you a gold-plated gun that shoots ice cream in the next life, I also think that everyone should be able to believe what they want, so long as it doesn't involve possessing the right to throw molotov cocktails into people's wombs, y'know? So, I was a little hesitant to play Mock The Christian Openly again, but then I read some of the quotes on this site, and my brain farted and began flying around the inside of my skull like a leaky balloon.

So, enjoy: Top 100 Quotes from Fundies Say The Darndest Things ('Fundies' being Fundamentalists; yeah, I was confused, too, as I thought fundies were some type of novelty underwear you'd get at those weird shops in malls that are always changing names yet continue to sell the same novelty shit that no one ever buys! I don't get it! It's like Satan opened a store that'd sell you your deepest, darkest desire, but then totally screwed up on guessing what people would want: "I know what you desire! A motorized sunflower that wears sunglasses and plays the ukulele while it does a hula dance! HAHAHAHAHAHA!")

(Okaybutanyway.)

Also: this is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever seen, but now that I've said that, I'm pretty sure I'll see something tomorrow that causes me to take the business end of a hammer to my head in order to stop the pain. Like the fact that someone needed to prove in court that a chimp is not a person.

Actually, no, the truck nuts are worse.

And also: seriously, I have a lot of respect for men and women who'll strap themselves into a big can and allow themselves to be basically exploded through the atmosphere into outer space where everything's all floaty and you can die because there's NO AIR (mainly because none of them would ever write a sentence like that...), and I'd like to think that whatever it is they're doin' up there is worth doin', as it usually ends up meaning I get to make waffles in my microwave or something equally as awesome, but: launching a paper airplane from a space station and watching it survive re-entry?

Really?

No, really?

And last but not least in the category of Insane People Saying Insane Things: Tom Cruise talks Scientology. Grab yourself some popcorn for this one, as it's ten minutes long, but it's worth it, even if it might make you double-bolt your doors to make sure the moonies don't break in to worship your spatula or something...

That's all for now. Got dishes to wash and orcs to kill. Go be somewhere else for a while.